Girl. 30. Living this thing called life.

Just me. Being me.

NYC Midnight – Short Story Challenge – Round One March 17, 2016

Filed under: My Fiction — emzee1983 @ 7:57 am
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Her Story

Don’t judge me. I promise that there is nothing wrong with me. I don’t have any dodgy ex-boyfriends, or too many cats. I don’t snore, and I am not actually that fussy when it comes to men… it’s just that for whatever reason I am unable to meet men in normal acceptable social situations. I met my last long-term boyfriend whilst I was walking my neighbour’s dog. I’ll be honest; I’m not that great with animals, especially other peoples, and on this particular day, I was not dressed to meet a man, I wouldn’t even say I was dressed. Well, I had clothes on but… Oh let me start at the beginning. (more…)

 

Life… Oh Life… October 20, 2014

Filed under: London Book Fair — emzee1983 @ 3:47 pm
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I don’t want to see a ghost
It’s a sight that I fear most
I’d rather have a piece of toast
And watch the evening news

I have realised something.

Life is full of situations.  Some situations you want to be in.  Some situations you really don’t want to be in.

Some situations make you sit up straight and wonder what the f*** you have ever done in life to deserve the situation you are in right now.

Some people may think that it our decisions that put us into these situations, but I am not sure.

I am somebody that cannot make decisions.  In order to avoid situations I don’t want to be in, I make other people make my decisions for me, so I can blame them when it all goes wrong.

But sometimes, life puts you in a situation that tests you, makes you see who your real friends are, what really matters in life, and it chooses you for a reason.  That reason may not be clear at the time, and it may never be truly clear to you, but eventually, the reasons for these situations make you, or your family, or your friends, stronger than you (or they) have ever been.

I love my current situation.  I love my family, my friends, my soulmate, my house and my dog.

But there is always another situation…just round the corner.

 

Getting Married in McDonalds… July 16, 2014

Filed under: My Views — emzee1983 @ 7:25 pm
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McD

wedding

 

 

A while ago I had a dream that myself and and a friend were in McDonalds.  Nothing new there you may say.

Quite often I dream of McFlurries and cheeseburgers without gherkins and relish.

But that is by the by… (whatever that means).

Back to my dream.  I dreamt that my friend and I were discussing the fact that my other half doesn’t want to marry me (sob).

She suggested that I surprise him.  I should set up the whole day, arrange everything, and Mr Me would just turn up and marry me.  Apparently.

I couldn’t decide where to set my wedding.  Until I looked around.  And decided that we should do it in McDonalds.  PERFECT.

The staff were fantastic (in my dream) and the very next day, I managed to persuade Mr Me to meet me at McDonalds.  On the way there, I lost my nerve and told him what was happening.

I was shocked to discover that he was keen.  In fact his exact words were; “Lets get this over with then.” (in my dream).

So we went to McDonalds, and I got really upset because I realised that I wasn’t going to get a lovely wedding breakfast.  I was going to get a McChicken Sandwich.

So I called the wedding off.

I woke up with mixed emotions.  Ecstatic that Mr Me had finally agreed to marry me.  Annoyed at myself that I had cancelled my own wedding.

Even if it was only in my dream.

Anyway, I found this article today…

McDonalds Wedding.

Check it out.  I’m not the only one that thought it was a good idea.  (in my dream).

 

 

 

 

Something you should know.. November 24, 2013

Filed under: My Views — emzee1983 @ 9:54 pm
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hetty

I have a Hetty Hoover.  When I hoover my house, I pull Hetty along behind me and talk to her.  I say things like;

“Hetty, you can get in that corner, I know you can.”

or;

“Come on Hetty, keep up.”

It is not only Hetty I talk to.  I also talk to Mike the Microwave, Stevie the TV, Freddy the Fridge and Walter the Washer.  Oh, and Tumbly (the tumble drier).

Is that weird?

 

 

Daylight Savings… Daylight Robbery.. October 29, 2013

Filed under: My Views — emzee1983 @ 10:32 pm
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clock

Am I the only person in this country who can gain an extra hour in the day..

Yet still be late for absolutely everything??

It’s like I suffer from some kind of backward jet lag.

 

Like this morning, I tried and tried to get out of bed at my normal time of 6:30.. which last week would have been 7:30 today (right?) so I should have been bounding out of bed all fresh faced and ready for the world, when the reality was, I crawled out of bed at 7:30.. which last week would have been 8:30 today (right?) feeling like I needed an extra hours sleep.

And I like this clock change.

Most of my conversations before the event went like this:

(I did have other conversations, about other things, this did not dominate my life, I just meant the conversations about the clock change)

“Don’t forget the clocks change on Sunday..”

“Of course! Do they go back or forward?”

“Back”

“Is that the good one?  That’s the good one right?”

I mean, how could you forget the clocks were changing?  It’s not like every other post on Facebook would remind you.. or every tweet.. or every newspaper.. or every news channel.. or every blimp that was hired and subtly flown outside the office window..

(Ok the last one didn’t happen but it would have been cool).

Anyway.  It is done now.  Until March.

Where I get to suffer again at the hands of time.

 

Caught on Camera.. October 15, 2013

Filed under: London Book Fair — emzee1983 @ 8:42 pm
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I don’t know if I am the only one that does this.. 

And if I am, I may regret sharing this with you all..

But.  Here Goes. 

I was in the shower this morning (bear with me) and whilst I was in there I realised I was washing my hair like I would if I were in a shampoo advert.  

Then it got me to thinking what else I do in the same manner. 

And this is what I came up with.

– I often walk as if I am part of a music video when listening to music, miming to the music, looking down the camera.

– I hoover the house as if I am part of a Queen video … (All together now.. I want to break free..)

– I drive my car as if I am in a motor show, showing you all the pros and cons of my car.

– I sit in the passenger seat as if I am part of a death race.

– I watch tv as if I am going to be part of Surprise Surprise any moment.  Even when I am in my onesie I expect Cilla Black to walk in the door.

– I cook as if I am part of some “how to cook from jars in not a lot of time” show.  

– I do my shopping as if I were part of a Supermarket Sweep.  

Maybe it is because I watched The Truman Show a few years ago, and I imagine that my life is like his, Big Brother style.  Although it isn’t.  Or at least I hope it isn’t.  

Although I would put on a blooming good show.  

 

An award?? Little ole me?? August 29, 2013

Filed under: My Views — emzee1983 @ 7:13 pm
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The Versatile Blogger award

 

What is this?  I hear you cry!

I’ve only gone and got a Versatile Blogger award..

Such a lovely, funny, crazy, slightly insane blogger nominated me.  Do PLEASE check out her funny as f*** blog:

ZooBoo

She makes me laugh out loud, several times a day.  I especially love her rainbow dusting ideas 🙂

Rules Rules Rules..

With these Internet awards, come rules!
Here we go:
1. Put the award on your blog and SMILE!
2. Do tell your readers that you’ve received the award!
3. Thank the kind person who nominated you and post a link to their blog.
4. Now, you go ahead and nominate 15 other lovely bloggers who you think are deserving of the award.
5. Whoosh a comment over to the 15 people you nominated, to let them know, of course! (You can do this by commenting on one of their posts.)
6. And finally, list 7 fascinating facts about yourself.

(AND KEEP SMILING!)
:)

And now, I present to you, my fabulous nominees:

fromagehomage

mookandlulusblog 

bensbitterblog

thoughtsappear

lookingglasslanguage 

laugraeva

wheresmyrubyslippers

thegayesthingyouveeverseen

aroadtravelledtwice

acollectionofmusings

theseatonist 

evangelinevale 

clairefelicityyoung 

boughbreaks 

hell4heather

Please, go ahead and start click-click-clicking onto their blogs!

GO-GO-GO!

And here are the 7 facts about me!

1.  I like saying to my other half things like: “How old are you? 4?” And then finding myself HILARIOUS.

2.  I am weird.  (See above).

3.  I once got my head trapped in my electric car window whilst I had my finger on the button to do it up.  My brain was all like; “Why is my head getting trapped?”  Whilst my wicked finger was like; “Mwahahaha..”

4.  I am stupid.  (See above).

5.  I find weird things funny.  Like saying the word “Vaseliiiiiine” In a very high pitched voice, stretching the i.  Try it. I bet you liked it.

6.  I talk to my dog.  I know other people do it too, but here I am, brave enough to admit it.  I imagine he calls me SUPER MUM.

7.  I cannot read or play music, I cannot read or speak any foreign language, but I can spell supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

I would just like to say, yet again, a HUGE Thank you to the wonderful ZOOBOO who nominated me.  Without you, I wouldn’t have received this award.